Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Tu nous manques

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Holland
    Posts
    839

    Default Tu nous manques

    Cher David,

    Just as you would take 'no' for an answer, like a 'nothing' or a 'don't know', I 'real'ised that an empty space is 'still' a somespace.

    Although we moved to an adjacent space, which looks like it has always been there, there is an empty space at our table. Yet your name turns up in our conversations all the time and our smiles give warmth to the empty space inside. Like the French say: you are missing in us; "Tu nous manques."

    La Bouvetiere

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Glastonbury, England
    Posts
    512

    Default In Memory

    of one of the finest men who ever graced this planet.

    Steven

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    No fixed abode.
    Posts
    99
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Three years, and yet it seems so very recent. There are many times when we say "If only David were here, he would have loved to get involved in this." And of course he is here, in spirit. And his work grows ever more well-known and respected. Our job is to keep true to his inspiration.

    Our thoughts are with you and your family on this anniversary of your death.

    James and Penny

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Holland
    Posts
    839

    Default

    The collective intelligence gathered at La Bouvetiere doesn't know how David would have felt, had he foreseen it, about our annual gathering to continue and develop his work, but from our experience with him we can guess that the thought of it would have satisfied him.

    Oh boy, even if you had decided to retire, would you have been pleased to join us and would we have been lucky to still have you around!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Holland
    Posts
    839

    Default

    Thank you David for having shown me how to be patient: I smile at the thought how you would sometimes grab a pillow and a blanket, lie down on the couch and start asking questions, seemingly half asleep. I watched how some clients would really get confused about this unusual behaviour for a therapist, but you just reminded me of my father who would come home after a hard day's work and have a nap, denying he had been sleeping when he was woken up.

    Even now that you are gone, these memories still affect my life: I know now that I just have to keep questioning the boundaries until the system gives in.

    And every day that I am suffering, my respect for my grandparents and parents grows, who took a stand in the face of the enemy and hardly survived. It must have gone into my genes.

    It's almost four years now since I stood at your grave; you may rest in peace: we don't need you to ask questions anymore, we know them all by heart now. And every time we ask a clean question, you have survived in our hearts.
    Last edited by Corrie van Wijk; 09 January 2012 at 10:58 AM.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Holland
    Posts
    839

    Default

    Somewhere below I wrote to David:

    "Just as you would take 'no' for an answer, like a 'nothing' or a 'don't know', I realised that an empty space is 'still' a somespace."

    So when a close relative said to me: "I want to be dead!", without thinking, out of routine, I asked: "And then what happens?"

    "Nothing, not anything anymore!"

    I frowned, since I expected to hear something about Jesus, and I realised 'nothing' wasn't going to get us anywhere and 'anymore' implied something in the present.

    So I decided to backtrack and asked: "And then, what does not happen?"

    "No more pain!"

    A few hours later I repeated this conversation to her doctor and she gave her more adequate medication.

    Thanks to David for teaching me this. Without him, I would never have come up with this thirty second clean intervention.

    So I owe it to the world to share this. Please be gentle.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Holland
    Posts
    839

    Default

    JR: "[...] there is no such thing as “Clean Language”. Just as there is no ideal “table” out there in the ether, but each of us forms our own impression of what constitutes a table by comparing one thing to another, by metaphor.

    In referring to Clean Language, I’m intending to give respect to David Grove and his work [...]. I don’t actually think it’s now possible to change the name: it is the label we have to refer to David’s work. And yet, David would probably barely recognise what I do as relating to his work.

    [...] my friend was describing his experience of David at some of his first-ever UK workshops. Was the power in the questions, or in the metaphor, I asked? Neither! For him, the power was in David’s presence, and in his ability to dial up the tension between the client and their problem, pulling them further and further apart. In his charismatic way, he was able to hold that tension, facilitating the client into a trance…. until the facilitator disappeared, leaving only his voice… until the perfectly-placed question forced a reintegration and resolution.

    [...]
    And, David’s work prefigured various ideas and processes that are now pretty mainstream in organisational change. Facilitation. “Pure” coaching. Agile. Self-management and emergence. The importance of space and the environment.

    And is there anything else about all of that?"

    See more at: http://www.xraylistening.com/why-i-h....RoDEJtWA.dpuf

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •