Pauline called me today very excited to tell me all about her experience in applying systemic modelling with the BE project.

Pauline was working with some young care leavers in Bristol. In the group was also some keyworkers and some youth workers. She began a six week course with some discussions about the project and what they wanted to get out of it.

What's important to you? Why it's important you? How would someone know it was by looking at you?

The key workers and the youth workers were telling the group off, trying to split up certain groups and manage the dynamics of the small groups working together.

Pauline decided to allow the group to work with who they wanted, wait when there was talking for people to be quiet, let people drift out of the room for a cigarette. This made the key workers nervous and they kept offering to go a bring people back in and stop them from talking over each other. Pauline wasn't surprised by their surliness and allowed it to BE - accepting that the surliness was true for them, that it was the predominant pattern that they needed to work with.

After a few hours of this, one member of the group approached Pauline and said, very politely, "look, this is boring. Its like school". Pauline responded with respect - "what would you like to have happen instead"?

The group kicked out the adults, including their key workers who have been their main carers for several years, and decided to use the tie and money for the project to design and produce a DVD and comic book about leaving care.

They invited the adults back in a presented their ideas to them. They then entered into a discussion about what time they should arrive, how they should structure the sessions and find their own lunch etc etc. In other words, they were TAKING OWNERSHIP and responsibility for themselves. Despite the best intentions of their keyworkers, who were rather mothering them (which is all very good in it's own space) they were using the project to begin spread their wings and begin deciding things for themselves.

Pauline says before working with Nancy and Emma on the Skills4Success project she would have tried to control them with NLP. Instead she's delighted to see that they are controlling themselves and coming up with creative and brilliant ideas!