Practice Group Activity
ADJUSTING IN RESPONSE TO ...?
(The Practice Group held in Bath on 10 August 2006 was attended by 10 people who practised something similar to what follows. I designed the detailed instructions below after the event.)
Purpose: To discover what specifically a client does or says that triggers a facilitator to adjust what they do and say in response to the client's particular behaviour and language.
Preparatory whole-group activity:
i. Each participant answers the following question (but does not answer out loud): What are you experiencing now?
ii. Go round the circle and ask each participant in turn: And when you are experiencing that now, what would you like to be experiencing?
iii. Each participant answers aloud and the rest of the group considers how they would respond to each answer, and notices if there was anything about what the participant said or did that influenced their choice of response. Leave a few moments for contemplation between each participant (people can jot down their thoughts if they want). No one comments until everyone in the group has answered.
iv. Short group discussion about what participants noticed.
Note: The aim here is to see if participants can identify whether they are asking questions in a 'standard' manner, or whether there is something idiosyncratic about what the participant says or they way they they say it which affects how the facilitator responds. And if so, what is that something and in what way does it influence.
Exercise: Groups of 3 - Facilitator, Explorer, Observer. 3 rounds of 20 minutes each, 1 hour in total.
1. Facilitator asks: What are you experiencing now?
Explorer answers: xxx
Facilitator asks: And when you are [xxx], what would you like to be experiencing?
Explorer answers: yyy
2. Facilitator silently notes if there was anything idiosyncratic the Explorer said or did which influenced their choice of:
(a) their next question or direction, and
(b) how they asked the question or gave the direction (including how the Facilitator used their gestures, gaze, etc).
The session continues with the Facilitator silently noticing what is influencing them to adjust their questions to this particular Explorer in this particular moment.
Observer pays attention to the relationship between what the Explorer says and does and what the Facilitator says and does in response, to see if they can spot any adjustments by the facilitator in the moment. (More experienced observers can look for patterns of adjustments.)
3. Stop after a maximum of 15 minutes. Facilitator, Observer and Explorer each report what they have noticed.
4. Change roles after each 20 minutes.
In the debrief, participants reported that facilitators adjusted their behaviour in response to:
- Explorer feedback, e.g. "Could you give me a minute." Facilitator waited until the they were sure the Explorer had finished processing.
- 'Age' of perceiver, e.g. Facilitator asked very simple questions with a gentle voice of as if they were talking to a young 'Child Within'.
- Un-resourcefulness of Explorer's CURRENT emotional state, e.g. Facilitator directed attention to something more neutral ("I'm angry" - "And what kind of 'I' could that 'I' be?")
- Resourceful state (CURRENT or DESIRED), e.g. Facilitator directed attention to that state by using the basic developing questions which hold time still, and avoided questions which might bring the Explorer out (i.e. more cognitive-type questions such as: "And is there a relationship between?"; "And what would you like to have happen?"; or questions that move time, such as: "And where could than come from?"; "And what happens next?").
- The typical qualities of the Explorer's DESIRED state, e.g. slow down and lower tone for "calm" / speed up and raise tonality for "excited".
- A symbol is inside Explorer's body, e.g. Facilitator slowed delivery of questions and used full syntax to give Explorer time to access feelings or sensations.
- The Explorer's metaphor for a state, e.g. Facilitator asked questions in a sharper tone in response to the statement "I want a sharper mind".
- The Explorer's description of multiple states, e.g. Facilitator used a different voice tonality for each state as a way to mark out and distinguish between the states and keep clear which was being referred to.
- Perceived 'permissiveness' required by Explorer e.g. Facilitator chose "And what could happen? rather than "And then what happens" and "And where could that come from?" rather than And where does that come from?".
- The logic of information, e.g. the Facilitator made up a question to fit the logic.
- Where and what the Explorer was attending to in the moment, and especially when the Explorer moveed their attention, to where, and to what, e.g. the Facilitator followed the Explorer's attention (or asked about the change of attention "And what happened just before you said ...").
- The Explorer's meta-comment on what was happening for them e.g. "blah, blah, blah, what's really important is xxx, blah, blah, blah" - "And is there anything else about xxx?")
- The movement of the Explorer's body e.g. the Facilitator physically matched the Explorer's movement enough to gain and keep rapport, but not enough to take on more than a little of their state.