caitlinwalker
25-01-2008, 12:37 AM
When I heard about David's death it was like the pain of an injection and the floundering of a fever - not knowing what to do with myself or my grief. After sitting with David's family and friends, hearing and telling stories, singing and praying, my sharp pain is more like a gentle pressure. intense but peaceful.
We sat with David's body at his mother's house. Talked to his spirit, passed on messages and placed momentos and special objects about his person. On the Marae we went through a number of Maori rituals, all to do with creating sacred space across which to welcome newcomers and through which to help David cross to a new space. We shared breath - hongi - and listened to older leaders wishing david on his way.
We printed off tributes from this forum and different people read them out. That was a really important time for David's family as they knew very little of his work and were moved to hear how he had affected others. The stories made people laugh and cry and I thought they were made even more powerful when read out loud.
On the Sunday night we all slept at the Marae with David and a guitarist played songs on request, some favourites from different times of his life. It was surprisingly comforting to sleep with so many people under one roof.
On Monday morning early they came to put the lid on his coffin. There were the last goodbyes and then silence and tears as the lid was carried over. As they covered his face the guitarist started what seemed at that moment an inappropriately catchy George Formby style tune and sang:
(adapted from joseph and his technicoloured dreamcoat!)
There's one more angel in heaven
one more star in the sky
David we wish you were with us
its tough but we're gonna get by
there's one less place at our table
one more tear in our eye
but david the things that you stood for
like truth and light never die
It wasn't inappropriate. It was comic genius, captured joy and grief and we laughed through the tears. For me, like many of you, David's place at our table feels very empty just now.
At the church later that morning there were tributes and readings and hymns. One member of his family spoke of him finally being in the right space. Brenda had recorded hers in the US and it was beautiful, Sylvie spoke for France, Robert The from Taiwan, Penny and James spoke powerfully and James' piece on greatness was inspired
" if greatness is measured by a mans compassion for others .... then David was a great man" 6 iterations closed with a 7th.*
David's shy quiet brother played a japanese drum 1 1/2 metres high which reverberated through the church; saying "if this makes some of you uncomfortable, its what David would have wanted.." We finished the service with Leonard Cohen's Halleluja and an E-ulogy collation of photos of David through his extraordinary life.
At the graveside I arrived with Penny and James and it took us a while to find the right place. When we got there people were milling about in the rain. "They can't find his grave" someone said. We couldn't help laughing - maybe he wasn't in the right space after all - a few rows to the left perhaps.
His plot was finally located in row 6!! Each person took some sand or a shell and laid it on his coffin, it was lowered and one friend noted how it settled into place like someone getting comfortable before sleep.
* see following reply for the full text of the 6+1 tribute.
We sat with David's body at his mother's house. Talked to his spirit, passed on messages and placed momentos and special objects about his person. On the Marae we went through a number of Maori rituals, all to do with creating sacred space across which to welcome newcomers and through which to help David cross to a new space. We shared breath - hongi - and listened to older leaders wishing david on his way.
We printed off tributes from this forum and different people read them out. That was a really important time for David's family as they knew very little of his work and were moved to hear how he had affected others. The stories made people laugh and cry and I thought they were made even more powerful when read out loud.
On the Sunday night we all slept at the Marae with David and a guitarist played songs on request, some favourites from different times of his life. It was surprisingly comforting to sleep with so many people under one roof.
On Monday morning early they came to put the lid on his coffin. There were the last goodbyes and then silence and tears as the lid was carried over. As they covered his face the guitarist started what seemed at that moment an inappropriately catchy George Formby style tune and sang:
(adapted from joseph and his technicoloured dreamcoat!)
There's one more angel in heaven
one more star in the sky
David we wish you were with us
its tough but we're gonna get by
there's one less place at our table
one more tear in our eye
but david the things that you stood for
like truth and light never die
It wasn't inappropriate. It was comic genius, captured joy and grief and we laughed through the tears. For me, like many of you, David's place at our table feels very empty just now.
At the church later that morning there were tributes and readings and hymns. One member of his family spoke of him finally being in the right space. Brenda had recorded hers in the US and it was beautiful, Sylvie spoke for France, Robert The from Taiwan, Penny and James spoke powerfully and James' piece on greatness was inspired
" if greatness is measured by a mans compassion for others .... then David was a great man" 6 iterations closed with a 7th.*
David's shy quiet brother played a japanese drum 1 1/2 metres high which reverberated through the church; saying "if this makes some of you uncomfortable, its what David would have wanted.." We finished the service with Leonard Cohen's Halleluja and an E-ulogy collation of photos of David through his extraordinary life.
At the graveside I arrived with Penny and James and it took us a while to find the right place. When we got there people were milling about in the rain. "They can't find his grave" someone said. We couldn't help laughing - maybe he wasn't in the right space after all - a few rows to the left perhaps.
His plot was finally located in row 6!! Each person took some sand or a shell and laid it on his coffin, it was lowered and one friend noted how it settled into place like someone getting comfortable before sleep.
* see following reply for the full text of the 6+1 tribute.